This post shall be a musical post, comparing my experience with wedding dress shopping with Elle's experience engagement dress shopping. There will be heavy lyric quoting. Please take a moment to familiarize yourself with:
Get it? Got it? Good. Let's continue.
So, after Katherine and my dress adventure last weekend, I about had a heart attack when I saw the price tags on these dresses. I mean, I KNEW that it was going to be ridonculous, but even I (who has never been known to be frugal) was having a bit of sticker shock. But not just any dress will do, either. In the words of Elle Woods, the musical edition:
This dress needs to seal the deal,
make a grown man kneel,
but it can't come right out and say "bride."
(See minute 3:30above).
Actually though, it does need to come right out and say "bride," and bride doesn't need to be implied. This is a wedding, after all. But there was no way I am going to spend that much on a dress.
And I had that awful experience at Bridals by Lori, who, like the sales ladies in Elle's dress shop, were just trying to make a sweet commission off of me:
[Brides] make commission SO easy.
Excuse me, miss. Have you seen this?
It just came in.
It's perfect for a [bride].
Um. Lady. Look and listen. How many times do I need to tell you that my budget is not $50,000 and I don't need a dress that makes me look like a wedding cake topper. Thanks:
It may be perfect for a [bride],
But I'm not that [bride].
I may be in love,
But I'm not stupid, lady. I've got eyes.
Amen, sister! Sing it! This is basically how I felt all weekend. I just can't imagine all common sense going out the window just because you stick me in white silk satin. No ma'am. Not this kid.
As you may remember, I really liked two dresses. I will not show those dresses here. I want there to be some surprises. Here's a picture of a puppy instead:
I seriously contemplated getting a dress made, but hadn't really looked into that option much. Even if Elle does say:
So, [Katherine,] help me dress for my fairy tale,
Can't wear something I bought on sale. Love is , like, forever.
This is no time to economize omigod, you guys
I would actually be more than thrilled to buy something on sale. And while love is forever, I'd rather if my debt were not. I have no qualms for not spending the equivalent of a Lexus on a dress I will be wearing for 8 hours. And then, enter from stage left: fate. I got this random e-mail from a website that I had looked at ages ago as an option-- http://www.preownedweddingdresses.com/. Basically, this website is like ebay for preowned dresses. Some are brides trying to sell their dresses that are gently worn. Some are brand new because they bought a dress and didn't like it or the wedding fell through or something. Others are sample dresses from salons which are trying to get rid of their inventory. Either way, you can get Vera Wangs for 90%. Seriously. If you are looking at getting a dress, I recommend going to this site.
You can even search by region in case you want to find a dress near you so that you can try it on. I was lucky because I had already tried my dresses on in a store. So, I did a search for the two dresses that I really liked. One of the dresses is a pretty old design, but I thought it may be possible. Guess what, BOTH dresses were on there and BOTH were in sizes bigger than me. This is good news, because it's easier to take a dress in than out.
They were both at the top end of my budget, but still within range. One of the dresses, was up there for awhile. You can sort by how recent the dress was listed and this one was pretty far down the list. I hoped that this meant that my bridal counterpart would be willing to negotiate in order to get rid of the dress. I asked, and she said she was absolutely flexible on the price. I decided to shoot low. I was thinking she would never give me my asking price, because it was sooooo much lower than her list price. GUESS WHAT? SHE SAID SURE!!!!!!!
What did this mean? I am getting my dress for 80% off. That's right, folks. It's not a fake, it's a designer dress, it's never been worn, and I am about the same as I would have at David's Bridal. She may even throw in a free veil if I'm lucky. Even with the amount I will doubtless have to spend on alterations (adding straps, taking it in and up, etc.), I think I will still be on budget. I had no idea that I would have a dress right now. I was in browse mode. But I am absolutely positive that this is My Dress. It's in Washington, DC, but I'm going up to Norfolk in a month. I'll have nothing to do during the day while Chris is at work, so I'm thinking about just driving over and picking it up, even if it is a 3 hour drive.
Omigod! Omigod you guys!
This one's perfect, and it's just my size!
See dreams really do come true you never have to comprimise.
I came in early today so I could blog before I got weighed down by work. I wanted to update you on the dress shopping. Most important thing I learned this weekend -- THOSE DRESSES ARE HOT UNDER THERE! I seriously need like a fan sewn into the bustle or something.
Katherine and I started off our day going to J. Andrews Bridal in Peachtree City. After being ridiculously late picking her up, made even later by an essential stop for gas, we drove all the way to PTC. We were actually right on time, so that's good. When we got there, Katherine and I looked at each other. The place was really small and was not very impressive from the outside. However, when we walked in, it was awesome! The staff was incredibly friendly and our lady (can't remember her name. Susan maybe?) was great. She said that she knew that it was basically my first time out, except for that one study break Sarah and I had 1L year. She also said not to feel pressured to buy anything, it was really difficult on day 1 to do that, but we'd have a good time figuring out what I liked and what looked best on me. Seriously? YAY! Katherine and I had this whole system we worked out in the car ride. I wasn't going to say which dress I liked, but I would play with my bracelet or something if I really liked one dress. That all went out the window. How quickly I forget. There was also another bride there with her mother, sister and aunt, and they were hilarious. Their bride and I were looking at completely different styles of dresses, but we were gushing and giving each other advice. It was really fun.
Anyway, I found 2-3 dresses that I loved. I really surprised myself, because one of my fave dresses wasn't AT ALL what I was looking for. I'm trying to decide whether or not to post pictures of the dresses I like. Katherine took pictures with her camera phone (suprisingly, they let us!!! We were shocked). I think we're going to put those on facebook and block Chris from the album. Sorry, honey. I could cut and paste pictures of the 5'10 size 0 models in them. What do you guys think? Want to see them?
After eating at Chick fil-A (mmmmmmmm), we went to Bridals by Lori. They were having a Lazaro trunk show, and Lazaro was there! Haha. Katherine and I didn't know it was him and I mistakenly thought he was a random employee and asked him what to do. He was like, "I don't know" and just stared me down. WHOOPS! Oh well.
The more I think about it, the more I realize that I actually did not at all enjoy my experience there. Incredibly disappointed. They have thousands of dresses. It's just like Kleinfeld's in NYC. So clearly I don't have time to go through all their dresses and I don't know what they have. I told our consultant, Marta, what I was looking for and picked out a few dresses myself. I had originally gotten swayed by this trumpet gown with loads of ruffles and pleats at the bottom. It was really pretty. I had it on, and the consultant was like, I have a better one! and she did, in fact, give me a better one. I told her, though, that I really wanted to try on lace trumpet dresses. I liked the ruffles, but it wasn't really what I was looking for. SHE JUST WOULDN'T LISTEN TO ME! It was really frustrating. She kept bringing me back to the ruffle dress, and I kept telling her that I liked it, but I wanted to see other dresses. UGH! and I also kept telling her NO STRAPLESS. This store had like 6 total non-strapless dresses. I know that straps can be added, but I really wanted to see non-strapless. And she kept telling me that I looked much better in strapless. At that point, I knew that she was lying because I definitely do not look good in strapless. Katherine gave me this funny look and rolled her eyes. Please, woman. I work in retail. I know how to sell people shit that looks terrible on them, and I refuse to do it. Don't play your stupid games with me.
Katherine and I wondered if maybe brides out there are not that bright? Or maybe when you get an engagement ring on your IQ drops 30 points? It's entirely possible. I just don't understand how smart women suddenly become crazy when someone sticks a white dress on them. No, Bridals by Lori, I will NOT plunk down $4000 on a dress after 30 minutes. No, Bridals by Lori, I will not be swayed by the promise of a 12.5% discount that will end tomorrow if I don't buy. No, Bridals by Lori, I will not be pushed into a dress that I don't like because you say that it looks good on me when I know that it is completely unflattering to my figure. The bridal industry is a racket and it begins and ends at the bridal salon.
Katherine is hilarious and she was trying to take pictures here too, and we got told that we couldn't unless we bought the gown. So Katherine kept sending Marta off on these bizarre missions ("Can you find a piece of fabric we can use to get an idea what straps might look like?" "Hmm.... I need to see it with a belt.') so that she could serruptitiously snap some photographs. I kept worrying that Marta would come back, but we got left alone so much that it was probably fine. I don't know what she was doing, but sometimes it would take her forever. Almost like those movies where the guy has two dates going on at one time and has to change in the bathroom. Or was that the Hannah Montana movie?
I have decided to do some serious research into having a gown made. The problem with these dresses is that I'm also really really short. Alterations will cost a fortune. Bringing up a gown is not the same as hemming a pant because there are so many things going on down there at the hem. Also, I'm really short waisted, so the middle part of those dresses are never cut for me. You know when you get a funny crease along your waist? That's because the torso of the dress is cut too long for you. So that's an expensive alteration. These dresses don't come in petite to alleviate that problem. Yet another scam from the wedding dress industry.
OH! and you know what else?! Okay, I know I'm not a size 2. But I'm not THAT fat! I feel like I'm more or less average, especially in light of the current obesity epidemic. None of those sample dresses fit me. It was ridiculous. Some of the Lazaro dresses they were having me cram into were bridal size 4s. That's like a street size 0. For real? How do you expect to sell a wedding dress if people can't try it on?? I could literally not even get into them. I'm sure more of these dresses would have peaked my interest if I could actually slide them down my big butt. You know what we had to do? Hold it up to my body. This is ridiculous. Isn't it much better to get a big size and then clip me into it? UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
So anyway, that wraps up my Saturday. Kind of a boring post. Please forgive.
1. This week I have billed 55 hours so far. To calculate how many hours you have to be here in order to bill those hours, multiply by pi. That's a rough guestimate. That's what pi is used for, right?
2. TGIF.
3. I brought donuts to work thinking it would be easy to get rid of them. It has been a ridiculous challenge. I blame the health food movement.
4. I'M GOING DRESS SHOPPING THIS WEEKEND! I have yet to take a day off from work, and so I'm treating myself. Working really gets in the way of planning a wedding. Evidence: how little I've blogged. I know you guys miss me.
Note that dress shopping does not equal dress buying. I'm going to play dress up. Haha. I know, I know. Consultants hate it when you do that, but frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. I refuse to be pressured into buying a dress on the spot, just because it might not be there later. Whatever. I'll handle it. You don't buy cars or houses without comparison shopping, and although a dress doesn't cost (or maybe it might...) the same as a car or a house, it's still a big chunk of change. Not happenin' sista.
So Katherine and I are visiting two bridal salons. One is having a trunk show for my fave designer, Jim Hjelm:
The other is for Katherine's favorite, Lazaro:
They're really the same designer (different lines), but no matter. No, Katherine is not getting married. She is living vicariously through me. I don't mind. We are going to try to covertly take pictures. :) I will upload them if I can!
Having already put in almost 30 hours of work this week AND it's only Wednesday AND we had Monday off AND I'm still in the office.
You know what else also sucks? Not having time to actualy send an e-mail longer than 10 words to my awesome wedding planner who is trying to get me to start thinking about important things like flowers. Do you know how expensive flowers are? REALLY expensive. I really want to do my own flowers because:
(1) It's more economical. By a long shot.
(2) I want to be able to tell people after they "ooh" and "ahh" over the beautiful arrangements that I did them myself.
But you've heard all this before. And I've already thought about the time-value-of-money (or is it the money-value-of-time? Whatever). Part of me still really, really wants to do this. I'm crafty and I have a hard time farming things out when I can do it myself. And I want my personal stamp on everything. I think I also am swayed by all those brides on my blogs who do their own flowers, and I think, "If they can do it, so can I!" I want to be featured in a blog with them saying, "and the bride did all her own florals."
So anyway, my planner sent me a link to her favorite florists old website (her new one is being made as we speak and is down). She knows I keep talking about doing my own flowers; I think she's sending me a hint that this is a bad idea. She says that this florist books up fast, but my weekend is still available.
Her fave venue is also the Cotton Dock. WOO! THAT'S ME!
Anyway, Chris is like, "GET A FLORIST!" He's pretty adamant and he's probably right. He says that doing crafts all along, while ambitious, is not unreasonable. However, it is not okay to be doing something the week of the wedding, particularly since, "we have to deal with our parents." Deal with-- his words, not mine. It does take a lot to deal with our family, though.
Anyone know what a reasonable floral budget is? Like I don't know if it's $1000 or $5000. Anyone, anyone? I have to admit that although I am pretty well-researched on everything else in the wedding world, I know nothing about the cost of actually hiring a professional florist.
I've decided, though, that if we do (shudder) hire a florist, I do not want this costing an arm and a leg. We will have to get down to some serious negotiations in order to get a great look without things costing an inordinate amount. Seriously. If this is going to cost us ridiculous amounts of money, then I will figure out a way to do it myself. She can (maybe) make the bridal party bouquets, and then I'll do the rest.
I know, I know. I have failed in my bloggerly duties. I haven't blogged in almost 6 weeks. With finals and the start of my New Job, I haven't been able to get online and keep you stalkers aware of my goings-on. And. Well. Nothing's really been going on. We're in a holding pattern for a bit, I think. I was going to buy a wedding dress or at least look for wedding dresses this summer, but they feed you really, really well here at the firm (massive lunches every day + drinks, etc. after work), and I'd rather not try on dresses when I'm fat. I'm doing my best to work out 4-5 days a week in order to mitigate the damage a bit, but I feel like it's a losing battle. Kinda like pumping mud into BP's oil rig.
My coworker friend, Ross happens to be a really solid amateur photographer. He apprenticed for a wedding photographer and is now taking a whole bunch of P.R. photos for Emory University here in Atlanta. We got to talking one day and I found out this shocking story about him. He has a really, really nice camera. Way nicer even than the camera I'm going to be buying this summer with my first paycheck. So all you folks who were like, "YOU NEED ENGAGEMENT PICTURES!", I think I'll get them! Ross said he'd take engagement photos for Chris and I, and I may even pay him to do our rehearsal dinner/wedding week in Charleston. Although he said that he'd do it for free. I'll just pay for his expenses, then.
Since he was the backup photographer in these weddings, his job was to take pictures of the details rather than those big moments (like the first kiss, etc.). I think he's really solid. Plus, I enjoy those detail picutes. They make for really nice art on the walls that remind you of your wedding, without being a random shot of the bridesmaids. Subtle. I like subtle. Like when I have a few random quatrefoil things hanging around for subtle Phi Mu. WE know it's Phi Mu, but we don't have to wear our letters.
Anyhoo -- it's good to have contacts :)
I also have a really solid idea planned for the rehearsal dinner. Everyone's probably coming in from out of town, so a ton of people will probably be at the rehearsal dinner (is that the way these things work? unsure). I feel like my rehearsal dinner is just going to be pre-gaming for the wedding. Anyway, at work as a team builder we had this Amazing Race-style scavenger hunt around Atlanta. It was awesome and incredibly fun. I'm not just saying that because we won. Because we did. We smoked the other teams. It wasn't even close. I thought it would be fun for those who wanted to participate to do the same thing around Charleston in order for you kids to get to know the lay of the land better.
I can see this look on your face right now:
Stick with me here, folks. It'll be GREAT! What did I tell you about my wedding being the wedding of the century? I want everyone to remember it. Maybe instead of Rehearsal Dinner, we can make it like a Thursday Night thing in order to make it to a bar that night.
This just means that you must take off the entire week leading up to November 5, 2011. We have lots of things planned including a trip to the Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka distillery and a Ghost Walk. Details are a little hazy right now, but we want to make things fun and give you a little bit of the things Chris and I like to do when we're together. We're also trying to see if it's feasible to do mystery dinner theater or something that week.
This also means that all you folks who are taking off work for The Wedding of the Century will have to get your crafty hats on and help me tie up some last minute details. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!
Speaking of crafty hats, who's in town and wants to help a bit this summer? Anyone need something to do?
So I was in the library* picking out a new book on tape for my bad self,** and on the way through the shelves, I stumbled upon the etiquette section. Is that ever a depressing section to be in. All the things you do wrong to make you look uncouth and backwoods.
Wow! Harsh! RSVP cards are an "abomination" and you should foul up my system?! I'm hoping that this is only for formal invitations. Mine is hardly formal. However, I feel as if Miss Manners would probably say that all invitations should be formal, or at the very least that all replies should be personal.
Don't worry, dear friends, your RSVP will be personal. I have taken care of that.*** I will not require you to have personal letterhead and beautiful penmanship. I"m sure Miss Manners would be upset with me.
But what say you, bloggy fans? Is Miss Manners unrealistic? Any choice words for her?
*for those of you who are unfamiliar, it's like Blockbuster for books
** I'm a busy law student! I like to multi-task when I'm driving.
*** I'm such a tease.
